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In essence, we're good

It seems as it is not, but it is; it’s good to have a place to go back, a place that feels like your own. Although I must confess that leaving is nice because that way, one meets with everyone one considers valuable. That is what I to see my beloved people. And this action of coming to see you, thereby interrupting the course of their day, which is surely very important, touches the soul.

 

One really appreciates that gesture. It feels that if death comes, it will have been worth living. I think it is better in life. Many people at my funeral, although there will be no funeral, will mean nothing to me because I will already be dead. So in life, brother in life is the right way to see each other, so that the “seeing” is mutual.

The last time I left, the whole world came to see me, even the mocking one, who mocks everybody because he has not understood that karma falls on the next generation, but I love him very much because he has made one of my favorite people happy. And although he didn't do it for me, I'm glad to see those family offspring smile and smile at me.

When I say that the whole world came, I mean the world that matters to me and for which, I suppose, I am important. Or maybe they came for the “pansitos con pollo” (bread with chicken) that my sister and my little one prepared for the occasion. Although I prefer to think they came for me, so I don't feel lonely.

But I was saying that it is good to have a place to return, a place where life is taken by the horns, as in El Salvador, my beloved country that, apparently, has begun to realize, I mean people, of the beauty that we have as a homeland, and that only everyone's work can clean the dirt that still exists.

So, returning is important I said, and I know it better now that I have returned to China, a country that has been very good to me, but, nevertheless, is not my country. Upon arrival, as expected, she came to see me, wearing the same smile of that time, cheerful, friendly, always-alive, and, as expected, somewhat romantic and with drops of libido, which has the good habit of humidifying the environment.

There was also the couple that takes care of seven cats, including one without teeth, and that thanks to a coffee grinder and some incredibly good destiny arrangements, sincerely welcomes me.

The others did not come, but I understand, people do not welcome much. Surely there will be more for my departure, even if they are strangers. I don't know why but I’ve noticed that people easily join goodbyes. Maybe it's because the welcoming gatherings tend to be more intimate. I don't know, but that happens.

Now that I have returned to this good nation that housed me for twenty-five years, I’ve learned, almost the hard way, that it is not only about returning, but about returning to where one belongs. The problem is that in order to belong one has to be there for a long time, and in the good and bad, and if not, one just does not belong, and that is why when one comes back, it feels as entering into a wide emptiness.

It seemed to me, now that I am in the South, where my usanian friend, the one I met thanks to the brunette from Houston, came to see me, that family life is better, that you have to leave but not for so long. I learned that freedom - I speak of being physically alone, it’s paid with distance along a one-way road.

 

But I was saying that it is good to have a place to return, a place where life is taken by the horns, as in El Salvador, my beloved country that, apparently, has begun to realize, I mean people, of the beauty that we have as a homeland, and that only everyone's work can clean the dirt that still exists.

So, returning is important I said, and I know it better now that I have returned to China, a country that has been very good to me, but, nevertheless, is not my country. Upon arrival, as expected, she came to see me, wearing the same smile of that time, cheerful, friendly, always-alive, and, as expected, somewhat romantic and with drops of libido, which has the good habit of humidifying the environment.

There was also the couple that takes care of seven cats, including one without teeth, and that thanks to a coffee grinder and some incredibly good destiny arrangements, sincerely welcomes me.

The others did not come, but I understand, people do not welcome much. Surely there will be more for my departure, even if they are strangers. I don't know why but I’ve noticed that people easily join goodbyes. Maybe it's because the welcoming gatherings tend to be more intimate. I don't know, but that happens.

Now that I have returned to this good nation that housed me for twenty-five years, I’ve learned, almost the hard way, that it is not only about returning, but about returning to where one belongs. The problem is that in order to belong one has to be there for a long time, and in the good and bad, and if not, one just does not belong, and that is why when one comes back, it feels as entering into a wide emptiness.

It seemed to me, now that I am in the South, where my usanian friend, the one I met thanks to the brunette from Houston, came to see me, that family life is better, that you have to leave but not for so long. I learned that freedom - I speak of being physically alone, it’s paid with distance along a one-way road.

But in my case it’s different, and this is because I am El Salvadoran. And I say this because one of the most beautiful things in El Salvador is its people, and in that rare beauty, their ease of welcoming anybody, of making one feel at home, of opening the door and letting us pass and receiving us with open arms. That's why I'll go back again. Because although with doubts on both sides, my country and I know that when I say I belong, I mean El Salvador.

It is night now at the outskirt of Tianhe, in Guangzhou, and I believe the darkness has had an effect on my nostalgia, and it has made me think of my people –beautiful hearts!, who took the trouble to interrupt their day to come to see me and remind me that although apparently distant, they await me with an open heart.

Oct. 19, 2019.

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